How we'd design our dream car

Adequate luggage space? Absolutely. This car is categorically not a track-day weapon. It is a car that not only could be used every day, it’s one you’d choose to use every day. Of course it will be fun to drive on the track – hilarious, in fact, because its performance is going to be so accessible – but no one is ever going to break a lap record in one, because it’s just not important. One of my few mantras is that the amount of enjoyment a car can provide is defined as how fun it is to drive multiplied by the number of times you feel inclined to drive it. That, to me at least, is what’s important. So it has to work in all weathers, and on as wide a variety of roads (and tracks) as possible.

The next consideration is probably the most fundamental, because it affects everything. Where do you put the bloody engine? I’ve agonised about this. I don’t want it in the front because putting that much mass on the front wheels must affect the way it steers, plus transmitting its power to the rear wheels (presumably I don’t need to explain why it’s going to be rear-wheel drive) will add weight and limit traction. But I don’t really want it directly behind the driver because that’s going to extend the wheelbase further than I ideally want it to go.

Really, I want it behind the rear wheels because that’s the only way I get to keep my optimal wheelbase, decent luggage space and uncorrupted steering. But if I’m going to do that, I need a flat-formation engine to keep the centre of gravity as low as possible, whereupon you’re all going to accuse me of designing a Porsche 911 by stealth. This is why no one has ever tried to follow the 911’s lead. And there is the weight distribution issue too.

So it’s going to be mid-engined. I’m not that happy about it, but when you’ve factored in all issues concerning mass, polar moment of inertia, traction and steering feel, it seems to me to be the least bad option.

Now, what sort of engine is this? You will, I am sure, have worked out it will drive through a six-speed manual gearbox, but I’m hoping its actual configuration will come as a surprise because, so far as I’m aware, it’s never been used in a road car before. And I really don’t know why. I still need that low centre of gravity, which draws me to a flat formation, but a four is too rough, a six too, well, 911-y. But a flat eight? Why not? In the late ’60s and early ’70s, Porsche used a flat eight in its 908 to win every major sports car race on earth save Le Mans, I’ve driven one and it sounds utterly fabulous. It also means it will be space efficient and quite short in length, so I can retain my hope of a super-short wheelbase.

It will be oversquare in dimensions both to make sure it revs and keep its width (and therefore the car’s) under control and actually quite small. I think 3.0 litres is more than enough, from which 360bhp at around 8500rpm should be easily realised.

We’re getting there now. I’m no suspension engineer so I’ll bow to conventional thinking and have double wishbones at the front and a multi-link arrangement at the back. I’ve been wondering about differentials, too, and my thinking is that a mid-engined car this light and without much torque won’t need a limited-slip differential almost all of the time. So I’d propose to make quite a gentle, purely mechanical LSD an option alongside a springs-and-dampers suspension package for track use. The idea is that while you’re lumbered with your choice of diff, your springs and dampers can be swapped over very quickly by anyone with a modicum of mechanical know-how. I’m not sure if it will need one, none or two anti-roll bars – I’d rather live without them if possible – but if required, it or they would be fully adjustable. The steering will be hydraulic with a slow and linear rack by modern standards, a quite large diameter, a firm and slim rim and absolutely no buttons.

There will be a choice of tyres, the standard car coming on the equivalent of a standard Pirelli P Zero, with a Trofeo R option for track jockeys, but in either event they would not be massive: a 215/40 at the front and a 255/35 at the rear should be more than enough for a car of this power and weight. The brakes would not need to be big, nor at this price would there be any question of a carbon-ceramic option, so they will fit easily behind the 19in rims.

Inside would be simple and as driver-focused as possible. Maximising all-round visibility would be a crucial consideration. The ‘seats’ would actually be moulds built into the rear bulkhead, offering a standard configuration, optional removable padding and, for those who wanted it, a seat-fitting service where the mould is designed around your specific dimensions. Generous adjustment of both the pedal box and steering wheel would mean drivers from 5ft to 6ft 5in would be accommodated in comfort.

I’d like lots of mechanically driven, analogue dials, but accept for reasons of weight and packaging that a simple, scrollable TFT screen will do the job wildly better. The car will be engineered for air conditioning and cruise control, but navigation and entertainment will come via Apple CarPlay and Android Auto alone. An adjustable bracket designed to accommodate a wide range of hand-held devices would be fitted. There will also be plenty of storage space on board.

And that’s about it. This would be a car that recognises that fun is far more important than fast, and that the more you can use the car, the more fun you will have. Of course I understand that such a car will never be built, although almost all the ingredients are out there. Indeed, if all you did was take the best bits of an Alpine A110 and Porsche Cayman GT4 and added a bit of flat-eight loveliness, you’d be pretty much there. Shame it’s never going to happen.