In this week's automotive adventures, Steve ponders the magnificence of the new Bentley Flying Spur, pines for a drive in a Morgan 3 Wheeler and muses on the challenges of writing under lockdown.
Monday
There’s a magnificently inert Bentley Flying Spur marooned at my Gloucestershire address, due to Boris’s driving ban and the fact that the Crewe factory where it lives is shut. The only get-out for it and me is that the nearest supermarket is four miles away and we have to eat. However, hops into town (involving squeezing into confined parking spaces beside the battered Hyundais of crazed pasta-shoppers) aren’t this car’s speciality. It’s meant for casual cross-continent dashes to Monaco’s Casino Square. Even the “check on an ancient relative” excuse is void in our case, because she lives about 400 yards away.
Luckily, I’ve already done serious miles in this car, one of a rare breed of 5.2-metre-long limousines that shrinks as you drive it. It’s big on the road, of course, but feels agile, because its steering is so accurate and perfectly weighted that you can hit a matchbox dead-centre on the road – assuming there’s a matchbox available.
The other standout is refinement. Do a few miles in the Flying Spur and the bangs, bumps, squeaks and creaks of other cars sound like someone’s playing a tambourine in your earhole. Swapped it for my Citroën Berlingo on one town trip. Mistake.
Tuesday
Getting stuff written for the magazine is a weird challenge at present, although not unpleasant if you enjoy banging the keyboard as most of us do.
We’re all frantically writing up features we’ve had in notebooks for a month or two (the kind you put off because they require an excess of brain strain), while Richard Lane, who handles our first drives section, is frantically “looking down the back of the sofa”, as our editor puts it, for stray driving tales.
He has found some, as you’ll discover over the next few weeks. The big Bentley will feature soon, but that will be an easy win. It’s a fabulous car and I’ve got a trip around Britain (full story coming) to draw upon.
Wednesday
Despite the lockdown, I’m having an odd mind affair with the Morgan 3 Wheeler. As soon as permitted, I’ll proceed hot-foot to Malvern Linkto borrow one for an afternoon to scratch the itch.
I’ve been on the configurator ridiculously often and can therefore tell you that the (excellent) Mog website currently features a perfect example in silver with a black centre-stripe. I’ve also watched innumerable YouTube videos. My finding: our own was the best. It’s the only one that doesn’t have the car plying endlessly back and forth through the same bend but shows it in actual use. And above all, it doesn’t feature (as most do) the too-long, over-the-top ravings of a self-obsessed lunatic with a selfie stick.
However, I can’t fully account for how I’m feeling. When we had a 3 Wheeler long-termer, the pedals were in the wrong place, so I found it hard to drive. I think I’m so keen now because the 3 Wheeler is 110% about freedom, a poignantly precious commodity. You don’t drive one of these to get places, impress people or pick up a chest of drawers. Like no other car, you do it for the pure, abandoned freedom of the road.
Friday
A friend and MG F owner, Tim Morris, reminds me that this capable, good-looking but thoroughly overlooked roadster is 25 years old this month. It brings back memories: I was part of a hack coterie that gave the company management so much earache that they decided a mid-engined soft-top two-seater was just what the market needed. And I drove a prototype back to the office for photography from the original Gaydon launch.
Despite its quixotic gas-sphere suspension, I’ve always liked the F. It’s a shame more people didn’t take the trouble to discover its charm.
And another thing...
Tough job deciding the best visual feature of the new Land Rover Defender, but I’ll opt for the superb standard white steel wheels. They’re cheaper than alloys, more durable and better-looking. It was the same with the old model…
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MGF
Edit to above: Just in case anyone was wondering - it was a brand new MGF at an MG Rover dealer. Awful car.
Polar opposite to my
Hydragas.
MGF
I test drove an MGF once - the driving position was terrible - the seat was far too high, and the ride quality was even worse - it was so jiggly it felt like I was driving down a farm yard dirt track rather than the perfectly smooth tarmac I knew well. Needless to say it didn't persuade me to buy one.
The Bentley that attempts to
The Bentley that attempts to make itself more 'interesting' by a couple of heavily pressed crease lines (as in the Audi A6) ends up by making itself looking cheap. Rolls Royce is above such common gestures.
That Bentley with black
That Bentley with black chrome, silver paint, laser cut alloys and red brake calipers looks more Up GTI than luxury sports limousine, truly cringe worthy.