The strangest car press photos ever published

Most official press photos just do their job quietly. Nice positioning and lighting, show the car off at its best, and you’re done. But these ones… not so much

Autocar

26 March 2022

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You may not even be aware of official promotional images.

But believe us, you’ve seen tens of thousands in your time on earth. While publishers like Autocar have teams of in-house photographers who help to illustrate our review and group test stories, all car companies also issue photos taken by themselves to help illustrate new cars, both at rest and on the move. And most of the time they do their job perfectly well.

However, some publicity offices and marketing departments over the years have let their imaginations run wild, often with unintentionally hilarious results – and we all need a laugh right now, let’s face it. Here, then, is our light-hearted look at some of the best we’ve ever seen:
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Amphicar 770

The Amphicar was an amphibious car built between 1960 and 1965, built in Germany by the Quandt family, which also owned (and still owns a large chunk of) BMW. One wag in period stated that the car “promised to revolutionise drowning”, and in truth we wouldn’t want to go anywhere near the water in this thing in anything stronger than a light breeze.

But as this picture showed, maybe it could have been a nice fishing boat in suitable circumstances…
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Austin Maestro

There are indeed three Maestros in this picture. But the third one is a person, who has his own personal number plate to, er, read from.
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Austin Maestro

They certainly were an imaginative lot in the Austin Rover press office in the 1980s. We think they’re trying to point out how much interior space was available in the car in this one, but in truth, who knows?
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BMW 700

“Hey ad people, how can we promote our new 700 Convertible?”

“We just have some people in it waving to a bunch of people leading some heavily-laden donkeys up a hill.”

“Where do I sign?”
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BMW 2002

BMW is based in Munich, the city in southern Germany that’s the capital of the state of Bavaria. And this is the traditional dress there. So we guess this picture makes sense, sort of.
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BMW Isetta

BMW nearly collapsed after the second world war. There was no longer much demand for its warplane engines, and nobody in Germany had any money to pay for cars. So it made sense to build the ultra-cheap Isetta microcar, produced under licence from Italian firm Iso.

What makes less sense is holding what looks like an Isetta product launch during a wedding.
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BMW Isetta

And talking of sense… Can you think of a better way to spend the first moments of married life than driving off in a claustrophobic contraption that takes 30 seconds to get to 30mph? We absolutely can’t.
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Chevrolet Roadster Truck

Enough of those whacky Germans, how about the Americans? Well, they got started early, as in this shot from 1930. I think they’re trying to say that the truck is a perfect vehicle to putt from, and we’re sure any golf course would be delighted to have a heavy Chevy driving all over their greens.
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Chevrolet Bel Air

A group of friends get together in the 1950s to admire someone’s new Chevy in someone’s driveway. Except they’re not in a driveway – you can see the ceiling of the studio at the top of the photo.
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Chevrolet Corvair

“So how about we get a flock of doves together with our new Chevy, with a lady in a nice white dress staring at some weird stuck-up English guy with an umbrella?”

“Why on earth not?”
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Chevrolet Corvette

The best way to promote the new ‘Vette is obviously to get a nice couple driving along, passing another couple on a tandem.
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Chevrolet Chevette (1978)

“Let’s get a school marching band together, and get a large boy with a giant tuba thing to take centre stage, being hassled by a smaller boy. Surely there can be no better way to promote our small car.”
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Citroën GS

The GS was never sold in America, so it obviously makes perfect sense to promote the car on a Western movie set.
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Citroën Dyane

So much fun going on here. The lady on the left threatening people with a bunch of flowers. The strange dude at the back. And the guy with a red barrel under his arm.
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Citroën Mehari

Given the age of the guy driving and the environment, we think this is a depiction of a driving test - but we're fairly sure French policemen didn't and don't host these so who knows what's happening here?
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Ford Cortina Crayford Convertible

“Yoohoo. Yes, I wanted to say hello and alert you to the fact that my husband has entered a competition for wearing the widest flares of 1979.”
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Ford Anglia

We are firmly of the opinion that this photo was staged in a studio near Dagenham, not in the foothills of the Swiss Alps.
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Ford Consul Classic

“Hey guys, we need a way to show the huge boot on our new Consul Classic? Any ideas?”

“Hold my beer.”
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Ford Cortina Estate

What better way to show off the load-bearing capacity of a new car than to cram in a large outboard motor and a beautiful woman?
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Honda Civic

“I have just caught the world’s largest fish, but you lot are only interested in this new Japanese runabout.”
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Plymouth Belvedere (1967)

“We’ll just use a nice looking couple, as usual. But in a twist, we’ll have her holding a large pink ball on the bonnet.”

“Perfect.”
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Lada 1200

“Are you sure it’s OK to have a picnic in this safari park Dave? It’s just I’m sure I read something about there being lions and leopards wandering about as well as giraffes?”
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Lada clothing

Not embarrassed enough about driving clapped-out Soviet re-treads of obsolete Fiats? Well you can now wear your lifestyle too.
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Mazda

“I need an out of the box idea to promote our exciting new Mazda – what have you got?”

“How about a guy who’s so excited by it that he’s actually fallen asleep?”
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Morris Oxford

We like to think ‘lifestyle marketing’ is a new thing, but Morris was doing it back in the 1950s. Clearly the perfect car for mountaineering.
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Opel Manta

“I think to do this nautical theme properly we need the guy to dress up in a sailor suit.”
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Peugeot 205

A lady shows off her Tupperware collection on the bonnet of a 205. We have literally no idea what the thinking was in this one.
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Renault Sport Spider

Renault was big in Formula One racing when the company launched this oddball sports car in 1996, so why not have a pit crew attend to its every need?
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Renault Scenic Concept

“Hey Jean, look at my new concept car that previews a new compact MPV that will save Renault’s bacon in a few years’ time.”

“Never mind all that Nicole, check out this old skull me and Henri have found.”
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Renault Twingo

We think the point here is that you could easily fit two enormous Sumo wrestlers into this tiny Renault citycar. But it sure would have been cosy.
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Simca Vedette

Lifestyle marketing, with a twist. No mountaineering or surfer dude antics for Simca. Nope, this car is for taking your morning’s supplies of milk to market.
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Skoda 1000 MB

The happy couple look pleased enough with their purchase, but can’t help thinking the guys at the back are ruminating over something on the back of this rear-engined car.
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Triumph Herald

“Sir, we are convinced you are trying to smuggle drugs into the United Kingdom, using your family man look as an elaborate cover.”
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Triumph Stag

It is perhaps obvious to use a medieval jousting re-enactment to promote our new sports car.
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Volvo Amazon

“We have a new Swedish car to launch, so let’s get a load of English gentlemen with hats and umbrellas together to get the image we’re after.”
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Volkswagen 181

The 181 – which was called The Thing in America – was the civilian version of a car originally built for the West German army. We know this photo is of its time, but we can’t help thinking that virtually everything going on here is a bad accident waiting to happen.
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Volkswagen Beetle

“The Beetle has been on sale for so long that we’ve totally run out of ideas about how to promote it. Any ideas?”

“Let’s just turn the car upside down and see what happens?”

“Sehr gut!”

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